CRAFT & SPIRIT

CRAFT AND SPIRIT

And Then It Rained

It looks like you need a good rain. You’ve been carrying a lot, haven’t you? It still seems that there is a lot you’re holding on to. Underneath it all, you seem sad to me and have for the past few weeks, but I’ve hardly taken a rest, a moment to notice, until now. I’m sorry about that.

I noticed you’ve been running at a higher temperature these past few weeks, yet still on schedule, the life within you has been dying all the same. Now being the time of letting go, you seem to be putting on such a bright face for everyone. If no one has told you yet, thank you for that. but for whose sake do you extend yourself so dangerously? I know you’re clever. I’m sure you have some plan, but it hurts to see you take so much out of yourself for those who want what you give, but more. and though satisfied, will never reveal it at the risk of receiving less.

Is that why the atmosphere feels so heavy? It feels like you need a good rain. I don’t want to be the one to suggest what you need; I’m sure you know what’s best for you, but also… I wonder. It’s become more and more unclear what is best, and as we adapt, we find out more and we find new stimuli to improve. I can only assume you’re adapting as much as we are here. Yet, there’s a difference between adaptation for growth and adaptation toward homeostasis. The creation of convenience, the discovery of optimization, and a fear of the corners we cut only leading to a hole we trap ourselves in. I see you holding back, and I wonder if it’s only for convenience, or perhaps someone else’s. I don’t want you to feel that’s what we want.

I can’t speak for the collective, but as above, it’s hard to know what’s best for everyone. We’re so divided. Even with all of these conveniences, we strike one another down for greater convenience and for what I’m most afraid of: the joy of it. The pleasure of simply getting one over on another. I can see why you’re so exhausted.

You don’t seem like someone who ever gets angry. You do seem like someone who holds a lot. Why with all of this life around you do you feel so lonely? Maybe with all of this life around you, it makes it that much harder to be seen. I can empathize with that. I hope you know that in this small moment that I’ve stolen for myself, I see you. That hummingbird you sent that stopped right at eye level in front of me, curious and unafraid, made me feel seen. I thank you for that.

I hope you’ll take my advice, let go. Rain. Don’t feel like you have to hold on so tightly.

And then it rained.