Here We Are

Now that A Chorus Line is over we’re moving onto new things. Moving on to different designs, moving on to meeting new folk, connecting with new mediums, and contacting higher forms of artistic expression. The world right now goes inward, and while I attend to the great dichotomy of creating opportunity for myself and waiting for the opportunity, I will be evaluating the self, and setting out to explore greater curiosity. Sounds like just a hell of a lot of words.

to break this down I’m just looking for an opportunity now. I’m looking for my next character to be obsessed with, in the meantime I’m looking for training in acting, training spiritually, and training toward a greater higher form of self. There are many things that I’d like to attend to, like relearning what mathematics means to me and learning more about language and how I express it, all while continuing my pursuit and growth in my craft, and getting out of debt.

It’s a lull, or rather, it’s meant to be rest. Coming out of something with as much energy as I put into it creates a lot of difficulty in understanding “what even is rest?” What is rest? I’ve had to enter into this new world and simply figure it out by using my old tools, and current intuition. Nothing ever fully prepares you for the moment, but the moment is all there is, and all there is is what there is.

So here I sit wondering how to describe to you this great nothing that is my new life in some exciting fashion. The first step is to change language and refrain from absolutes. It’s not nothing, I’ve been simply transferring from something to something different. Therefore, here I am now. It’s not as pretty as I’d like it to be, but it’s still important, and potentially just as exciting. Beauty can be what you make it.

I’m working at my restaurant and it’s been a bit of a messy sprint maintaining my health with a “post-show blues” immune system. I’ve been forcing myself to get right back into work to get out of the financial hole I was in due to the show and my own incompetent Chipotle spending. I’m back in with my parents, not having really moved out at all, just getting a chance to escape somewhere else for a bit. I’ve had to relearn/learn anew the feelings that would have on me, rebuilding my defenses. Now while back in my office/bedroom, in this new something, I’ve been thinking a lot about these next couple of months, and the new somethings that I’d like to occur.

What I will do

I think step two would be to let you in on what I’m looking forward to. My plans.

My Writing

With writing there’s plenty to continue learning. I’m not the most confident in how I utilize the English language feeling like I’m lacking in its fullest extent and ability. I’ve kind of just mimicked writers (such as most people) and applied what I like and don’t like. So I’d like to continue down a rabbit hole of basic English and writing.

Along with that, I have plenty more to write to continue my practice. The most important on my docket is to write scenes. Just a scene written in screenplay formatting. I would like to shoot and act this scene out and upload it. Then I would like to create multiple scenes together to create a short, to write, direct, act, and produce. Then finally embark on the same process of creating multiple shorts that create a feature-length film. Whatever it is I wish to create I’d like to. When I can create something myself I will never have to worry about getting cast in anything, ever, I can always create and cast myself. That is part of the truest extent of artistic freedom to me.

My Reading

To read is to imagine text on a page as pictures in a mind. To enjoy curiosity in the formatting of words, to discover knowledge within language. Watching movies is important to get an idea of how to communicate a story through images, but reading is important to be the one in control of creating those images.

I have been wanting and will be delving into books to find knowledge about writing, screenwriting, and writing scenes. Books that reframe my understanding of math and numbers to create a deeply philosophical foundation to begin loving this form of communication and language that I’ve been too frightened to access until now. Books about acting, tactfully and spiritually, ideas and insights, and further signposts toward my journey as someone within the craft.

Journey

my journey includes many different aspects, there’s so many things that I want to move forward in, not including what I’ve already written and spoken about. There’s so much about my own person that I need to reach out to and discover, therapy sessions to attend, and beliefs and values I need to put onto trial. It’s a check-in, and I need to make sure that I’m working to grow as a person, and keeping an eye on what’s happening in the world. Not to stress too much to learn every little thing, but to make steps, and small steps to truly achieve what I set out to achieve.

My acting journey is moving forward with every show, so I’m quite happy with the work that I’ve done in A Chorus Line. Right now the goal is to audition for what’s upcoming. I want to continue auditioning for plays, but more importantly, I’d like to try and start auditioning for more theaters out of town. Auditioning for plays is great, but not here, as much as possible. I’d like to explore different towns as I enjoy being a traveling nomad to discover new people, new areas, new beliefs, new thoughts, and ideas. That’s what I enjoyed most about working in Mansfield Ohio, as opposed to the usual places I’ve worked before. There’s something new to discover, there’s a discomfort and a force toward adaptation, and it’s a challenge to my own beliefs but also it’s refining them. An understanding that either what I believe is justified still, or should be in question. It’s a trial in a world where most people don’t get one. A challenge where people intend to live comfortably. I’d like to live a bit more uncomfortably throughout this summer and the following seasons.

That will help me to grow. It will also challenge me to leave my house and start disconnecting from my dependence on my family. Which has become a part of my excuses paired with my debt.

As an actor, I believe I would still like to continue searching for new agencies. I don’t know what the climate is for film and TV but I guess I was pretty wrong in reading what would be happening during this season. I thought post-strike I would be seeing far more auditions. I have not. The thing is there are rooms where things are happening and I’d like to be a part of them, so I need to find the people who know how to get me into these rooms.

What Is

I’m leaning into all the exciting things I have coming up but sitting into all I can do now, which is plenty. On this path of finding my next character to be obsessed with, one thing I need to continuously remind myself of is here is where I am. I am nowhere else, with no one else, with nothing else but the place, people, and things I am with. And each of these categories is remarkable. While I couldn’t be more grateful for the show and the character I was in and with, I couldn’t be more grateful with the people I’m with now. The chance to write and to share the world through my eyes with you in the present moment.

Step three is to have remarkable realizations in the doing, to find acceptance where you are, and to realize that nothing that you’re doing is in fact something, and it’s deeply exciting. Spring is here, and a new artistic life is approaching very soon, I feel it. We’ll talk next week.

Much love today and every day, Matt Piper 🐅🌱♊️